


Dungeons and Dragons and Friends, Oh My!

by altoinkblots



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Al is the DM, Alternate Universe, Dungeons & Dragons References, Gen, No Proofreading We Die Like Men, Post-Canon, this is a very very very loose au don't question it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:14:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23355259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/altoinkblots/pseuds/altoinkblots
Summary: Every once in a while, Al gets together a group of people to play a table-top role-playing game. They've been going for a while, and it's a small glimpse into a typical session for this group of friends.
Relationships: Alphonse Elric & Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric & Edward Elric & Van Hohenheim, Alphonse Elric & Riza Hawkeye, Alphonse Elric & Van Hohenheim, Alphonse Elric & Winry Rockbell, Edward Elric & Maria Ross, Edward Elric & Winry Rockbell, It's a dnd group they're all friends, Riza Hawkeye & Winry Rockbell
Comments: 9
Kudos: 16





	Dungeons and Dragons and Friends, Oh My!

**Author's Note:**

> Al = Dungeon Master (or Game Master, depending on who you talk to)  
> Ed = human warlock named Justus  
> Winry = elven artificer named Dralsé  
> Hohenheim = dwarven cleric named Aigmelgrimm  
> Maria = half-elven monk named Belnoa  
> Riza = tiefling paladin named Neseis  
> \---  
> I tried to think of who I believed would play dnd together; this doesn't mean every character is left out and doesn't play, I just didn't want to deal with a nine-person party. That, and Maria Ross needs more love in my opinion. Enjoy!! 
> 
> (and yes, i did roll dice for this. thanks for asking)

_ They were a ragtag bunch, this intrepid party of adventurers. They had the road on their clothes, and they gave off the allure of seeing almost too much in their travels. The tiefling paladin, Neseis, wore her armor proud, her head held high, one of her horns sheared close to her scalp. The robes of the half-elf, Belnoa, danced around her in the wind; her very fists were weapons of war. On the other side of the tiefling stood a beautiful elven woman who went by the name of Dralsé, was weighed down by gadgets and machinery she had made herself. A human, Justus, stood beside her, his gaze hard and his eyes like pits of endless night. In front of them stood a holy man -- a dwarf, with his holy symbol glistening on his breastplate who called himself Aigmelgrimm. Together, they stared down the unholy entities around them, bursting from the ground with low, guttural moans of the damned. _

* * *

“I would like all of you to roll a history check,” Al said from behind his DM screen. Most of the table protested, Ed being the loudest of them all. 

“Six.”

“Fifteen.”

“Twelve.”

“Seventeen!” Winry cried. “With a plus… Let’s see, that’s a plus three so a non-natural twenty.”

“Natural twenty!” Maria cried, raising her arms into the air. 

“No fair,” Ed complained. “I was the only one that didn’t roll double digits.”

Al shook his head. “Okay, so Winry, Dad, and Maria got above the DC. You remember a few weeks ago, you ran into a woman who said she knew who was raising all of the dead and…” He looked down at his notes. “Winry and Maria you remember the name of the lich being Azmodeus.”

“Wait,” said Ed, “wasn’t that the guy we helped back in the Fields of Yoorn?”

Winry snapped her fingers. “We saved him from the dragon!”

“So why the hell is he attacking us now?”

Hohenheim stroked his beard. “I think it has something to do with that emerald he found.”

“I remember that,” said Maria. She looked over at Al. “You never did tell us what that did.”

Al shrugged. “You didn’t roll high enough.”

“That’s nice that we know who is raising an army of undead, but we still have to fight them,” said Riza. “And most of us are down spell slots because of the plant encounter.”

“Speaking of which,” Al said, “I would like all of you to roll initiative. Dad, Maria, and Winry you get advantage on this.”

Ed mumbled under his breath. “Eighteen.”

“Fourteen.”

“Eleven.”

“Nineteen.”

Hohenheim winced. “That would be a five.”

Ed snorted. Al wrote down the initiative counts. “Hawkeye, you start.”

“About how many undead are there?” the lieutenant asked.

“About fifty.”

Riza blew a puff of air out of her cheeks. “Okay. In that case, I will use my action to turn the unholy. ‘Each fiend or undead that can see or hear you within thirty feet must make a Wisdom saving throw. On failure, it is turned for 1 minute or until it takes damage,’” she read.

“Okay, so I’m going to do one mass saving throw because there are a lot of zombies.” Al rolled his dice. “Does a five save?”

Riza grinned. “No, it doesn’t.” She looked back at her character sheet. “Okay, so they can’t be within thirty feet of me and they take the Dash action to get as far away from me as possible… and they can’t take reactions.”

Al nodded, marking something behind his screen. “Movement, bonus action?”

Riza shook her head. 

“Ed, you’re up.”

Ed looked at his spell sheet. “Damn it,” he said, “I used up all of my spell slots. Whatever. I’m gonna Eldritch Blast those mother--”

“Edward,” Hohenheim said, a warning in his voice.

Ed glared at his father. 

“Roll to attack,” Al said, glancing between the two of them.

Ed took his twenty-sided dice and rolled it three times. “Three, sixteen, and natural twenty!”

The table cheered.

“Okay, those last two hit. Roll for damage.”

Ed took the dice into his hands and threw them into his dice tray. “Oof. We can reroll ones, right?” Al nodded. “Okay, that’s eighteen points of damage for the first one, and twenty-nine for the second.”

Winry reached across the table to give him a high-five. Maria did the same, all of them grinning; even Hohenheim.

“Movement, bonus action?” Al asked.

“Nope!”

“Okay, Winry, you’re up.”

Winry climbed up and sat on the back of her chair, pulling on the hair that framed her face. “I’m completely out of spells, guys. Okay, I’ll… um… cast Thorn Whip? Are there any zombies within thirty feet of me?”

“Right now, yes,” said Al.

“Okay, I’ll do that. That would be a… three to hit.” She winced.

Al shrugged apologetically. “That’s a miss, sorry.”

“Damn it.”

“Maria, you’re up.”

* * *

_ It was Aigmelgrimm that delivered the killing blow to the lich. The rest of his party stood around him, bloody, broken, and bruised; but alive.  _

_ “Why would he do something like this?” Dralsé asked. “We helped him.” _

_ “I can’t say for sure,” said Neseis, “but there’s something else going on here.” _

_ Justus stood by Dralsé and took her hand in his. _

* * *

“Come on, get a room,” Al said. “Just because you two are dating in real life that doesn’t mean your characters have to be.”

Winry and Ed stuck their tongues out at him.

* * *

_ “I can feel it in my soul, something is not right with this place,” Aigmelgrimm said, clutching his holy symbol. “It goes beyond the undead we slew here today.” _

* * *

“Can you cut it out with the fancy voice, Hohenheim?” Ed snapped. 

“I am in character!” Hohenheim protested. “That’s how Aigmelgrimm talks!”

“Not just him,” Riza muttered, low enough so only Winry and Maria could hear her.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

* * *

_ Belnoa narrowed her eyes at the field of undead surrounding them. “The cleric is right; something feels fishy here.” She bent down and started rifling through Azmodeus’ robes. _

* * *

Maria winced. “That’s a six for investigation.”

“Besides some herbs and coin for spell components, you find absolutely nothing.”

“How much coin did I find?”

Al rolled a dice. “Five gold pieces.”

Maria sighed. “Fine, that’s better than nothing.”

* * *

_ Belnoa stood. “There’s nothing there besides some random odds and ends.” _

_ “Didn’t he get some creepy emerald?” Justus asked.  _

_ “Wouldn’t you like to know,” Neseis said. “You’re the one who sold your soul.” _

_ Justus marched to point his finger in the paladin’s face. “I did that to save my mother, you holier-than-thou… whatever you are.” _

* * *

Riza burst out laughing. “That’s the best insult you can think of?”

Ed shrugged, his face turning a little pink. “Justus is tired, okay? The only thing he could really do was Eldritch Blast, so cut him some slack.”

“And that is why I didn’t go for a warlock,” said Maria. “Too little spell slots, not enough fun.”

“My thoughts exactly,” said Winry. 

* * *

_ Dralsé stood between the warlock and paladin. “We have bigger things to worry about, here. Someone we helped months ago turned evil and his creepy emerald is missing. Now, has anyone been through this part of the continent before, can there be anything we recognize?” _

_ Belnoa waved her hand. “My hometown is actually about five miles north of here. We could stop by, ask some questions, rest up before we fight another army of undead.” _

* * *

Al clapped his hands together. “That is a wonderful spot to end today’s session. Same time next week?”

“I’ll have to check Roy’s schedule,” said Riza. “See if I can get away for four hours or so.”

“I thought you two were inseparable,” said Hohenheim. 

Riza started funneling her dice into her dice bag. “We are, but we both have our individual lives. Besides, I do like playing with you all.”

“We like playing with you too, Miss Riza,” said Winry. 

Al grinned as he watched his friends and family chat with each other as they packed up their materials. 

“Who’s ready to go to Madame Christmas’ for post-game dinner?” Ed said. 

Winry grinned. “It’s always nice going there before she opens. She’s a very nice woman.”

The six of them talked and laughed as they made their way to their post-game tradition of eating at Madame Christmas’ bar until it opened for her regular customers. Al put his arms around Ed and Winry, and all of them made their way out of the building and into the light.

**Author's Note:**

> So I actually wrote this in response to the fact that I was supposed to play dnd today, except half of my party didn't show up, which lead to a one-shot TPK. Mix that in with how much I love this show and these characters (and assigning them dnd classes while watching), and we get this. I would love to continue this; however, dnd in content is better suited to playing it yourself or shows/podcasts, not so much the written word. Combat, for example, drags on for _forever_ and it's not fun to read. Anyway, leave a comment/kudos if you enjoyed, and happy reading!!


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